As I plummet through my latest job search black hole of darkness and doom, I obsess over the idea of children and when to have them and how to plan for them and where I want my career to be in order to have them. And then, since Melissa had some kind of wonkiness going on, she republished all of her old blog posts and I found this article. Which I had never read, but found really interesting.
What really struck me, other than I think the issue of what "order" to prioritize things in is interesting, is the discussion of a good marriage bringing you more happiness than a good career. I don’t know about that. But I do know that in the past year, my marriage has brought me happiness, stability, and a sense of fulfillment when my career has stalled, crashed, burned, and generally not been what I expected it to be. And I’m not alone. On Twitter, most of us spend a significant amount of time griping about our jobs and more specifically, our job searches. It feels like we are all in the same boat, looking for something, under or unemployed, living somewhere that makes us unhappy, but generally satisfied with our partners.
I have made the decision to put my marriage in front of my career for the past year. I have made the decision to stay in the city where my husband is employed and our relationship is at it’s best. I have made the decision to take jobs that make me happy and allow me flexible time to deal with household related issues, rather than taking jobs that make me unhappy, take up all of my time, and leave me stressed out when I get home with no energy for my spouse.
Somebody had posted a quote on Facebook reminding women that when wondering whether to choose between marriage and a career, they should consider whether their career will ever wake up in the morning and leave them for somebody 20 years younger. A few years ago, I probably wouldn’t have found that offensive. Yet suddenly, I felt annoyed by the idea that, especially in this economy, we should be putting our careers in front of our relationships, when there is no guarantee of a career and if you sacrifice your relationship for your career, you might very well end up twice as unhappy.
But I don’t know the answer. Does anyone else know the answer? How do you feel about the "order" to do things? Do you put your relationship ahead of your career? Did you prioritize finding a partner in your twenties as the author suggests?