The Big City

I read this article on Offbeat Home and I loved it.  It definitely reminded me of a lot of my friends who moved to the big city after college, and live in crummy and unsafe parts of town living on Ramen noodles.

On the other hand, my husband and I moved to another city, one that we both love, but that has a much lower cost of living than your typical “big city”.  Because our entire city is considered unsafe, because the population is very blue-collar, and because it’s not really hip.  It’s not hip at all.  We finally got a fro-yo place.  And a grilled cheese food truck.  But we like it.  We actually never want to leave.  There is an old folks home at the end of the street and I joke about staying in our apartment forever and then moving into the senior home down the street.  Because it turns out that we don’t mind living in a place that isn’t hip, since we’re not that hip.

I think there is another lie that is sold to young people in their twenties, and that is the young suburbanite lie.  This is the lie for people that fancy themselves grown-up at twenty-two.  It is the lie that you can move to the suburbs, where everybody drives their cars and is safe all the time, and be happy.  When I did this, fresh out of college, I was miserable and unhappy.  And I was actually warned about this, that the suburbs were boring and I would be unhappy, but my logic was, “I’m boring – I don’t go out, I don’t like going out, and I’m happiest when I’m sitting at home playing board games.”

Which is true.  But nobody wants to come play board games with you in the suburbs.  This was the hardest part for us – people just didn’t come over and hang out with us.  I think we hosted…three dinner parties the entire time we lived in the suburbs?  Now it’s much more like 1-2 a month.  Our friends are generally happy to come to us, we know our neighbors, and for some reason, life in the city, even our unsafe, unhip city, just feels so much more vibrant.  Not fast paced-and-scary, the way New York feels, but normal.  My friend stops by and asks if I want to go to happy hour.  There are baseball games going on a mere three blocks from our apartment.  We can see the fireworks on the 4th of July.  We don’t go out much, but as the article says, if you live in the city in proximity to the glamour, and I’ve found that some of it rubs off.



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3 responses to “The Big City

  1. This is so exactly my experience! Once upon a time I thought I was a suburban girl — that I wanted to live someplace with big parking spaces and not too much traffic, someplace like where I grew up. But this past year I moved to a real suburb and I realized something … I am not a suburban girl anymore. I hate driving. I also hate not having anything within walking distance. Our Boston neighborhood has spoiled me rotten with its affordable tapas place and the fantastic bakery and the gorgeous special-occasion restaurant all less than a 15-minute walk away.

    I also realized that I grew up in a small town, not in a suburb, and the one is not like the other. But that’s a whole other issue!

  2. This is kind of funny, because I have a number of friends who all live in the Detroit suburbs and love it. And I think the reason they love it, is because they all live near each other and don’t snub the fact that the others live in the suburbs too. So if you have lots of good friends already in the suburbs, it’s not so boring because your friend will come over the have dinner parties all the time.

    • vadoporroesq

      Unfortunately, all of our friends who lived in the suburbs at the time were really boring and didn’t really want to come over, but now that we live in the city, they consider coming over to be more exciting and they are much more willing than when we lived 10 minutes away. Maybe it’s just us.

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