Another Year?

A few fellow bloggers have recently resigned themselves to another year of living in a place they are miserable, with a job they don’t love.  One of them and I were talking and I commented that it seemed unfair that she is stuck in a place she hates with a job; and I’m stuck in a place I love, but with no job.  We debated which one was better.

I love the city where I’m living, but when I think about another year of doing what I’ve been doing – another year of waking up, checking the job listing websites, aimlessly writing cover letters for jobs I would be perfect for but won’t hire me; jobs I’m more experienced than, but won’t hire me; and jobs that are total reach positions and won’t hire me, another year of that, even in a city I love, is unbearable.

I am very lucky that I get to live someplace I like, with my family, friends, and my support system nearby, and that I have a fantastic husband who comes home to me every day, tells me how happy he is to be married to me, and eats my somewhat mediocre and salt-free cooking.  But the idea of staying here, jobless, for another year?  Man, that is a bitter pill to swallow.

The husband and I talked and I asked him if I should be applying to jobs that would require us to relocate.  He requested that I don’t just yet, until I’ve exhausted all of the options with a manageable commute in the area.  A job in the hand is worth two in the bush, and he has it, so for right now, we’re staying put. I’ve put in a few applications, but I’m not looking extremely hard to move to other areas of the state.

So yeah. It might be another year of dues-paying and feeling inadequate and non-contributory because I’m not making money (which I should get over, but it’s hard.) But it’s okay, because as Meg says, we all have access to success.  So I’m just going to have to make some kind of success happen for me, professional or otherwise.

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4 Comments

Filed under Job Search, Marriage, Unemployed

4 responses to “Another Year?

  1. When the Beagle and I decided whether or not we would move for my job, we agreed because my job would pay more than his job would. Plus we’d have a cheaper cost of living.

    Now looking back, I realize we really only thought about the economics and our careers, not about our support systems or the actual place we lived in. I far underestimated how important those two things would be.

    I can’t say whether or not I’d be miserable if we had stayed. I chose to move, so all I know is that.

  2. Place vs. job is a hard choice. I think, for me, career is important enough that I could deal with almost any location if I loved my job (which, unfortunately, right now I don’t). But if the choice is “OK job in hateful location” vs. “no job in beloved location where I actually get to live with my husband” … I’m honestly not sure. In fact, I’ve been seriously floating the idea of me quitting the second year of my current job and just moving back to Boston. I doubt I’ll follow through (it would pretty much be the kiss of death to my academic career), but I am so, so tempted.

    • vadoporroesq

      It’s not worth it. Being unemployed bites. You might enjoy it for a few weeks, but then you would be sad and resentful and bored all the time.

      • Yeah, I think you’re right. I was semi-unemployed for a period after finishing my dissertation & starting my job and it was tough, even with a clear end date.

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