Just Kidding

I got a call on Monday which informed me that I was, in fact, not starting my new job on Tuesday.  Or in fact, ever.  The firm had decided to make do without hiring a temporary secretary.  After telling me I had the job.  I feel both extremely annoyed by this and also extremely cheated.  I was so careful about not being really happy, or not celebrating, or not really telling anybody until they told me I had the job.  And now people are wishing me luck and all excited for me and I have to explain what happened.

Which is just a cherry on top of the suckyness that is the job search right now.  I will write, at some point, more about how generally demoralizing it is.  (I had thought the worst was the people who treated me like I was unemployed because I wasn’t trying hard enough, but in fact, the worst is the people who tried less hard than I did, got jobs, and now eye me with a mix of pity and sympathy.)  But what I want to talk about now is disappointment, and having the rug yanked out from under you.

For starters, I was really excited about paying rent and going to happy hour.  My new rainboots are going back, since I don’t have anywhere to wear them.  I was even more excited about going to an office that had a fitness center, and the 2 hours of reading I would get done on the train.  I was looking forward to feeling like an equal in my relationship, and I most importantly was looking forward to getting to work and do something and maybe even be good at it.  I was looking forward to learning more about an area of the law that I know nothing about.

To add insult to injury, a number of people immediately asked, “so what are you going to do?”  Uh.  Uh.  Let me think about that for more than a minute.  I guess I will keep job hunting, just like I have been for four months?  I will suck it up and write more cover letters and resumes.  I will get better at following up on jobs that I have applied for.  I will network.  I just wish I wasn’t so bitter that I have to start it up again sooner than I was hoping for.


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2 responses to “Just Kidding

  1. I hate it when people ask you what you’re gonna do. Like the answer isn’t obvious. Keep looking, duh. It’s like they’re waiting for you to say “Give up after a few months and become a stripper.” Come on people… I have to say, being funemployed has been a tremendous learning opportunity for me. When I meet new people, I don’t ask “so what do you do?” anymore and it’s changed my perspective about the whole unpleasant ordeal. Oh, I’m bitter. But wiser.

  2. I’m so sorry this happened. That’s horrible of them. If it makes you feel any better, this happened to me once years ago. My immediate boss offered me a job before she had permission from HR to create a new position.

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